I just found out that envy and jealousy are two different meaning and a yet different emotion.

Envy is the emotion when you want a possession someone else has.

Jealousy is the emotion when you fear you may be replaced in the affection of someone you desire.

Basically, I'm dealing with the emotion of losing and lacking something. I've shouldnt envy farisya at a first place of being accepted to MRSM Pengkalan Chepa. Actually, we both settled to make an attempt to enter MARA science college since the 'ticket' we had, made us 'available' to get enter MRSM. We received short text from MARA, saying;

MARA: Tahniah, anda terpilih untuk mendapat tempat di MRSM sekian, sekian sekian...

This message seemingly may put us into long distance 'friend'ship within hundreds of kilometers away since Farisya got placed jauh in Pantai Timur and I got placed in Muar, Johor. Well, rezeki kan, mana kenal erti kawan. So I started to gather all infos on the internet, what MRSM Muar looks like?? How far is it from home?? Who's the principal and yada yada. Then.... thank you to Pak Cik Google for revealing important info regarding MRSM PC is one of 6 MRSM Bitara and mine is only MRSM Premiere. I were just like,, how it could be??? Honestly, MRSM Muar wasn't in my list as I only chose the three nearest MRSM from my home in Selangor cuz I don't want to get homesick when am hundreds of kilometers away from ibu ayah. But, but, but the thing is I envy my own bestie just bcs I sibuk  count her blessings yang Allah bagi instead of mine?? Does it call as 'tikam belakang??' and 'kurang iman??'

Well, I think is that I shouldn't envy her just because she's being accepted into there, sebab itu rezeki dia. So takyah kot nak jeles3 ni, menyampah .-.Why don't you be grateful on what you have instead of comparing your rezeki with others???

Forgive me for my weakness and attachment of worldly goods.

im not sure why, but i love to talk about my friends in 2013.

kawan saya.

kawan3 saya ada banyak.

Ada yang kenal dari darjah satu.

Ada yang kenal dari darjah dua.

Ada yang kenal dari darjah tiga.

Ada yang kenal dari darjah empat, lima, enam,

Ada yang kenal dari form 1, 2, 3.....

I DO treasure friendship more than anything else on this Planet Earth. Few months ago, i have to say goodbye to yet another lilysters: Adel & Nazihah, meanwhile i'm no less surprised that i can still be affected by departures of these two boys; Haziq Najmuddin & Amirul Muliady and in my usual style i silently missed them and remembered them with affection especially when i'm in solace, reminiscing some old good days.

Adel is just like a BIG sister to me. I said so because she's such open-minded and at the same act matured when it comes to friendship matter. Having morning talks in Dataran Ilmu between 7.10 am and 7.30 am was considered a throwback to the days i started to know her inners well whilst Nazihah and i were not that 'rapat' as she preferred to spend her time with Aida and PND rather than us. Haziq & Amirul?? Dua-dua ni pun kadang-kadang boleh masuk air juga, kadang-kadang buat hal sendiri. Paling kelakar bila tengok Haziq berhalusinasi, main dia punya 'invisible guitar' bila cikgu tak masuk kelas. Comel waktu tu jelah ek..

And now i have to let go these people, it's like saying goodbye to four years of friendship and never to see them again afterwards. Kalau ayat sejenis Iffa Izra gedik, "Setiap pertemuan ada perpisahan. Bak kata omputih pulak, "Every story has an ending." People come and go in our lives. That's why we have photographs and memories.

The good thing is we managed to get 8As in PMR 2018. Every drop of tears, feeling tiredness and drained for every single day was just worth. i think my success should be credited to the lilysters bcs the spirit of study only came when i surrounded by them and also teachers hehehe.. ibu dengan ayah pun sama banyak bagi morale support contoh macam kena marah sebab asyik online twitter :(

Thank you Allah for everything you've granted for me and my friends. Sepanjang 15 tahun hidup, tak pernah rasa sendu macam ni; see you when i see you :)

Congrats to those who did well in PMR! On one hand, a part of me is relieved. It's like saya berjaya tamatkan semua nih dengan penuh bergaya at the same time bersyukur cuz all the lilysters have earned good grades above the school's specific target for PMR.

I wish to write much longer recalling all the bits of PMR that happened. For example, when Fatin got panic attacked as she forgot to bring eraser with her into the exam hall. And yeah she just outta of the room without telling the invigilator. Pastu kiteorg boleh tergelak. Chuckling to myself as i wrote about this, sebab Fatin macam kucing hilang anak cuz yeah she easily lost of control when getting nervous but *ahem* nevermind, she managed to get straight As as well. Congrats Fatin!

Okay the real cerita cute is actually when Subject congratulated me. Yes he did congratulated me for getting straight As! Dalam kepala otak ni, ya Allah, dia hapai muka aku ke?? Malunya erghh...

So, lepas dah amik slip result PMR kat Dewan Sri Putra, we stayed for a while to take pictures with the teachers but yeah i was just not interested but rather went to ayah's place where he stood at the corner back of dewan, waiting for him to give me a warm hug. Hahahah but he didnt. Ayah just acted cool and kissed me at the cheeks in public. Semua ayah dalam dunia ni memang cemtu ke,? hahaha pastu mintak izin kat ayah jap nak pergi office dengan the lilysters wuuuuu, jumpa Tc Rogiah since her office in the office, eh???

Masa kiteorg semua otw jalan lenggang-lenggok nak pergi jumpa Tc Rogiah, boleh pulak terserempak dengan Subject kat hallway kat vending machine where he used to park his vehicle.

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Got back home, i told ibu what my result is and she cooked my favourite dishes. I think tonight i will sleep with my result slip cuz kat situ ada bekas tangan Subject. Hehehe...sweet dream baby gurl ain :)