Am i that too cocky or just overconfident??? then, how to be genuinely confident, without seeming cocky at all??? i can't brain when it comes to these people who are most emotionally sensitive that charge someone for being such cocky or arrogant or whatsoever lah.

These people who are happened to be my acquaintance, claimed to know me inside out, but they are actually a stranger to mine. In fact, im trying to be the best version of me, cuz we are all unique in ourselves, is it?

Hi, i'm back again, SUKA TAK?? SUKA TAK??? ok tak suka :(

It all started with fine monday morning, ada sorang kakak pengawas senior nih minta Musmay bertugas jadi emcee. since Musmay tak datang sekolah haritu (aih Musmay ni pun kalu nak cuti sekolah janganlah solo je, ajak aku sekali) pastu3 kakak pengawas senior kiteorg tadi tuu minta ain atiqah yang tengah blur ni gantikan Musmay. walawei! tbh, taktau pulak yang minggu tu ada hari koperasi sekolah, naseb baik Cikgu Maimun yang bertugas minggu tu. so, rasa seronoklah sikit nak handle since Cikgu Maimun dgn saya sangat serasi ala2 sweet de amor gituu :)

Part yang tak bestnya tu bila event yang nak kena handle minggu ni tak related langsung dengan Subject, lol. Maka tinggallah seketul ain atiqah keseorangan menguruskan majlis minggu koperasi sekolah lol. Anyways, everything went smooth cuz no one yang memberontak suruh habiskan cepat majlis. Hahahaha iye, saya tahu kita semua tak suka duduk lama2 kat perhimpunan dek sinaran matahari yang panas terik di dataran SMKPP.

Ok nak cerita sket pasal perkembangan stalking Subject. As usual we used to work together since im the one yang tolong pegang kunci comp lab. Muka nih juga yang dicari suruh simpan baik2 kunci comp lab dalam drawer dia. Pernah sekali tu menggelabah tak jumpa kunci comp lab, sampai turun perhimpunan cari ain atiqah, takut siot! Naseb baik jumpa kalau tak, habis kena hentam dengan cikgu. Lol

I personally can't handle myself since i'm currently experiencing heart palpitations whenever He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is around. My thoughts continually turn to him; every song reminds me of his face, his broad smile, his deep voice and know i've been dreaming about him. It's an ache that literally hurts my chest! I can't get over him in the hours and days at the school and i don't know what's more tragic that i keep looking for him wherever i go. It's not just infatuation; it's real love!

Physchologists say a crush only lasts for 4 months, but when feelings last longer, you are considered to be "in love".

source: factualfacts.com

Unrequited love is hell cuz all you do is spend your days thinking of someone who will never think of you. it all merged into one feeling of sickening agitation but yet, it was a fun distraction, eh boleh pulak. it was my bff, Musmay keep saying that, "it's such inappropriate for having that kind of wild feeling lah ain atiqah". She also thought that i'm being too obsessed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named since i've been through "typical crush behaviour" phases. ok let me be clear on that one by one.

I told Musmay, i wish that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will be going to teach our class next year – when all you really want to do is stare at his face every day. but it will be never happened since we have Cikgu Hadrah teaches us geography. FYI, it happened ONCE when he was being a sub. And there was a whole story behind it.

One day when i was out of the class, and the sub in. My heart pounded fast when i got to see, it was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named took over the class and all he did was returning back our marked exam papers by calling name each one of us to collect them on his desk. when my turn came, he did called me by the wrong name, Ain ATHIRAH instead of Ain ATIQAH .-.

Secondly, i get a little light-headed when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named walked past me in the hallway. Dia islamik giler weh, cuz all he did was lowering his gaze when he walked by any girls in the school. Err..sorry did i just look at you? Cuz i couldn't resist your charm! #cheesypick-upline

Thirdly, this is the most stupid thing i've ever done in my life! I started to look a ring on his finger to see if he's married! I dont want to jump into any conclusions but Musmay said 'the guy' is married and dah beranak-pinak dah pun. Alahai Musmay ni main taram jerrr, kan. As for me, when a guy wear a ring on, it could be a sunnah. Nak sedapkan hati lettew :p

Next, i tend to bring him up in conversations to the lilysters. Yup i did this most of the time cuz i'm interested to talk more about him as much as possible. And, dorang yang lain dah masak dah dengan perangai ain atiqah yang sorang nih.

This one will be going annoying and irritating since i asked around if anyone knows about his personal life. I play detective to know where he lives, where he comes from, is he a Kelantanese? And so on. These claims required further investigation when i've met my acquaintance schoolmate named Alya a.k.a the witness. According to her, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a friend of Alya's parents and they once met during an open house. Ouh yes, the witness said he lives somewhere in Desa Ayer Hitam which is far far away from my place 😢 but yet it's helpful enough. Thank you for your cooperation Alya!

Apart from that, Musmay got to see me slightly different macam tak stabil, overly excited, tak betul, terlebih energetic and whatsoever lah cuz i've got to talk to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, LIKE. EVERYDAY!!!!

Later, i slowly to realise that this is unrealistic and inappropriate (that's what ive been told by Musmay) cuz our age-gaps are too much different or else I'll have to be his 2nd wife which is mean becoming the third wheel in the relationship. NOOOOOOOO and finally i'll mourn my loss of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Lastly, i think that i need to write down about this just in case i forgot what i've been doing so far. Hahahaha let us wrap this up!

Cuti Sekolah 

1. Duduk rumah, makan, tidur, makan tidur.
2. Balik kampunggg yehaaaa!!
3. Kak Nana's wedding
4. Amik Iqbal kat asrama